VH1's Worst Week Ever - Gretchen Edition.

I'm not even quite sure where to start....

Sunday my car started making a funny sound, like my brakes were grinding together. I guess that's where everything started.

Monday sucked. I called Hyundai and explained my car sound to them, and they asked me if I could bring my car in right then and there. I told them no, I had to go to work, and they were like, "Well, it's too dangerous to drive, but if you bring it in now, along with 3 million dollars, we'll look at if for you." I said no thanks, I was about 3 million dollars short. So I went to work, which absloutely blew. A bunch of assholes who thought they were God's gift to the earth were staying at the hotel. I wanted to punch every last one of them in the eye. I tried to quit 3 times, but my co-worker wouldn't let me leave. I went home and went to bed.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I couldn't get to the mechanic on Tuesday morning. So I decided to head to work. I didn't even get halfway there, and my car started acting funny and making horrible noises. I wasn't quite sure whether I would live or die, so I drove straight to the mechanic and called a friend to come get me and take me to work. After my scary experience with the car, I didn't think my day could get any worse. Surprise! I was wrong.

We had a managers reception at the hotel for our guests (even though we ate most of the food). So after we were done setting up the food, I accidentally stuck my hand in some toxic crap (the stuff you light that heats up pans of food, if you know what I'm talking about). I thought I had gotten it all off my hands, but I didn't, and I started stuffing my face with ziti, and the toxic crap somehow got into my mouth..... it was very nasty to say the least. I washed my mouth out, but I was still scarred for life.

That's when the storm of the century came through!

The winds blew, the rain fell, the earth shook. The hotel lost power a few times. The damn alarm kept going off, my boss almost got electrocuted... it sucked. My mom called and said the power at my house kept flickering on and off, so I figured I would stay a the hotel. But of course, I didn't have any of my stuff with me, and no car, so my bestest friend Kim said she would come get me and bring me back to the hotel after i got my stuff. WOOO!

So, she came and got me, and she asked if I would drive her car since I knew the roads better. So we hopped in the car and headed towards Collegeville.

We were greeted with disaster! Trees were down, traffic lights were out, it was NOT a good time. I couldn't even drive on my street, they had it closed off. I finally found a cop and after I told him where I lived, he let me through, but he gave me some words of warning: "Drive quickly past the telephone pole that's on fire, we think it may fall over. Drive down the wrong side of the street so you don't hit the tree. You should be good!"

Awesome. Sign me up for that.

We get to my house, I pack my suitcase, and I'm out! Driving back to the hotel, I drove over a tree in my best friends car. Wheeee!

Back at the hotel, I return to my room to find a Holiday Inn Express slumber party is taking place, filled with UNO and Crunch Berries. Needlees to say, I didn't get much sleep. At least there was no 3 AM dance party this time.

This brings me to Wednesday. Also very sucky! Had a mental breakdown at work, ate 40 bags of Peanut M&M's, and eventually Amanda came to get me and take me home so I could get some sleep. But Wednesday night was no better. Broke up with Rockstar, got absolutely no sleep. Is this really the end of my relationship with him? After giving it MUCH thought, I say doubtful.... too much is left undone. I'm just gonna breathe for right now. And that's all I have to say about that at this point.

Today is Thursday. I called out of work due to mental instablity. Pretty good reason, in my opinion. But I DID get good news today, my car is done! The bad news.... it costs 3 million dollars to go pick it up. Anyone got 3 million dollars I can borrow?

I'm taking a vacation, I'm going on hiatus. Pray for me, my friends! I'll see you on the other side of the rainbow!

It's 10 PM. Do you know where your girlfriend is?

Sadly, not many people will get that joke. But if you are one of the lucky few, do you know where she is? I mean, seriously, do you REALLY know where she is? Not where she SAID she was gonna be, but where she actually went?

Back in the day, I posted a rather depressing blog about greeting my harsh realities. In that blog, I mentioned the ticking of a nearby clock slowly driving me insane. (Or maybe that was two different blogs, I can't actually recall at this time.) That may have been the same week that the butterfly chased me down the street. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that the ticking is back, and this time it's even louder and more in-my-face than before.

Why the insanity, you ask? I hate not having all the answers. I like everything to be laid out in front of me in numerical order, grouped by color. I'm a meticulous person. I try to be very organized, and at the first sign of chaos, I melt like a stick of butter that's been out in the sun too long. And it WAS rather hot today..... consider this my melting period.

Back when I was a kid, I never had ANYTHING figured out. That's how I was back then. I just figured I would live until I died. Anything that happened in between would be pretty cool. As I grew up, I tried to make plans, as many of us do, but you know what they say about the "Best laid plans of mice and men..." Actually, I really don't know what they say about that, but I'm guessing that those plans frequently get screwed up for one reason or another. Anyway, as soon as I thought I had something figured out, and I just absolutely KNEW things were gonna go a certain way, they didn't. And of course, my happy little world got rained on every time this happened. How many things was I absolutely SURE of that didn't pan out? Numerous. Countless. You think I would have learned by now.

So here I am again. But this time, things are gonna be a little different. I never know what's what from one minute to the next, so how could I possibly see where I will be in one year from now? No more plans for me. No more "Best laid plans of... whatever the hell." I'm gonna go back to doing what I did when I was little, because that seemed to work best for me. I'm gonna live, and I'm gonna live until I die. And things in between will be pretty cool. I can promise you that.
What happens, happens. And I will love it if you're there with me.

I'm starting to sound like David Scott. That's really scary. What the crap?!?!?!