Now there's something that doesn't happen everyday.

So this morning, on my way to work, I was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. It's nothing new to me, it happens every day. It was a little more ridiculous today, though. I'd say traffic was backed up for about a mile or so, just one continuous line of cars, just sitting. People listening to music, doing their makeup, smoking their cigarettes. Nothing really out of the ordinary.

I was minding my own business when the guy in the car in front of me got out of his car and starting walking toward my car. I thought to myself, "Is he coming over here? Do I know him? He can't possibly be coming to MY car."

Well, he was. He stopped at my drivers side window and motioned for me to roll it down. So what do I do... do I shake my head and look the other way? Do I roll down the window and possibly meet my impending death? I only have a split second to decide. So I roll down my window.

He's a tall guy, can't be over the age of 33. He's wearing a weird hat, the kind you would wear if you were going ice fishing. And he's driving a BMW.

So he says to me, "Hi! I know this is kinda weird, but... can I borrow your cell phone? I left mine at home and I didn't expect this much traffic and I'm running late for a doctor's appointment. I threw my back out and I have an 8 o clock appointment. There's no way I can get to King of Prussia by 8! I'd like to call my doctor to see if he still wants me to come in."

So, again, what do I do... do I say no, tell him that I don't have a cell phone when it's sitting so obviously next to me in my passengers seat? Do I let him use the cell phone and pray he doesn't kill me? I handed him my cell phone.

He said, "Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!" And he stood next to my car while he called the doctor. In the meantime, I am thinking about many things... I'm thinking about how I should have gotten that damn mase for my keychain like I always planned to. I'm thinking that if he WERE to kill me, there would be WAY too many witnesses. We're in the middle of a traffic jam, for christ's sake. And I'm at the bottom of a hill.... so everyone behind me is witnessing this as it is taking place. He wouldn't dare kill me here, would he? Maybe he's planning on kidnapping me.... I'm memorizing his license plate number just in case.

His doctor doesn't answer, so he leaves him a message. He says, "Thank you sooo much! I really appreciate it!" I say, "You're welcome." He hands me my cell phone, and then asks me, "What do you think I should do? Do you think I should try to make it into King of Prussia? My doctor's office is right next to the Radisson." I tell him that once he gets onto 422 he should be fine. I quietly note the fact that he doesn't look like someone who just threw his back out. Then again, I don't know anyone that has thrown their back out, so how the hell am I supposed to know what that looks like? He says he's going to head to King of Prussia, thanks me for the cell phone again, and gets in his car.

So I figure everything is cool, and I'm safe. He's just a guy. Forgot his cell phone. Happens to the best of us. While I'm thinking about all of this, my cell phone rings and startles the shit out of me. It's my co-worker Jenna, letting me know that she also is stuck in traffic, and as it turns out, she's about 10 cars behind me. I decided not to mention what has just occurred... I'll wait until we actually get to work. Whenever that may be....

We move a few feet and stop again. I'm listening to that damn fergalicious song, rocking out, when I notice BMW guy getting out of his car again. Oh no. Here comes my death.

He comes over to my window, and I roll it down. He says, "I'm so sorry, this must seem really weird to you!" No kidding. "Could I borrow your cell phone one more time? It's after 8 and I think my doctor might be in the office by now." So once again, I hand him my cell phone. Just then, traffic starts moving, and he's now a good 3 car lengths behind the car in front of him. He says, "Do you mind if I get in my car with your cell phone, and move up a few feet so people don't start honking?" At this point, I figure, he's not going to steal my cell phone. And even if he did, where the hell is he gonna go? There's no side streets, no other lanes, nowhere to go. He's stuck in traffic, just like me. So I say, "Go ahead." He gets in his car, moves up, and parks it. He gets back out and hands me my cell phone. "The doctor told me to go ahead and come in. Thank you so much again, I wish there was something I could do for you!" I tell him it's no problem, as I'm thinking to myself, "Just don't kill me." We start moving again, and as we merge onto 422 and start moving at an actual normal pace, he sticks his hand out his window and waves to me. I watch him as he gets off at the King of Prussia exit.

So as it turns out, he's just a guy. He forgot his cell phone. He really was appreciative. Would I ask a complete stranger if I could borrow their cell phone? Probably not, but if I did, I would hope that a person would be like I was, and let me borrow it. Because I know I would be appreciative.

So, here is my in depth question of the day: Is it wrong of me to think that a random guy would want to kill me? Is it because I am a female, and females are taught that guys are bad, and they all want to rape and kill you? Is it because we are taught not to trust strangers, even though a "stranger" could really just be a person in need, like me or you? Is it because every time I look at the news some guy is killing a girl my age?

When he first approached me, I thought of every single thing I had ever been taught about defending myself. I was taught to scream loudly when being attacked, I was taught to knee a man in the groin as hard as possible, and when he bends over in pain, run away. I was taught that women should carry mase on them, all the time, wherever they go.

Nobody ever taught me to trust a stranger. It's just something you don't do. But apparantly, there ARE just a few trustworthy people left, and it's a shame that we lump them in with the rest of the trash that's out there.

So to the guy who borrowed my cell phone this morning, I hope your back feels better really soon. And thanks for not killing me, because then I wouldn't have been able to write this awesome blog about you and speak about the tragedy of humanity.

Corporate America at it's finest.

It amazes me how human beings speak to each other. Whatever happened to "treat others the way you want to be treated"? I guess that tired old saying went right out the window, huh?

Why am I ranting? Let me give you some insight as to what I go through every day.

I work in a shared office space environment. I answer the phones for about 40 companies, so yeah, it can get busy. Our building is secure, which means that you need a special key to get into the facility. This key will also let you into your personal office, (but only yours, of course, since each key is coded with your own private number). So basically, if you forget your key at home, your screwed.

This happens to people more than I care to talk about, so I'll just share one incident with you.
This morning Mr. Big Wig decided he was going to bring a different car to work, and his keys were on his other keychain. So he came to my desk and demanded, "I need another set of keys because I brought a different car and my keys are on my other keychain". I tried to explain to this gentleman that it will take 4-5 hours to make him another key (since we have to call someone to do it, we can't just do it ourselves), but that I would look around to see if I could find him a spare in the meantime. This, of course, is NOT good enough for Mr. Big Wig. He looks at me with disgust and says, "You can't just lock me out of my OFFICE!"

I would like to bring it to everyone's attention that I, in fact, did NOT lock Mr. Big Wig out of his office. He's the asshole that makes so much damn money that he can afford to drive a different car to work every day of the week if he wants to, which is a wonderful thing, good for him if he's in that position. But along with that position, you don't receive the authority to treat people below you with such disregard that it makes me physically ill. I did not forget your keys this morning, you did that all by yourself. Do you want me to call you each morning and say, "Good morning sweet pea, do you have your keys this morning? Do your socks match? Do you need me to come over and tie your shoes for you?"

Mr. Big Wig is only one of the people that I have the joy of seeing each day... like I said, 40 companies equals 40 Mr. Big Wigs, each thinking that their "emergency" is top priority. I get screamed at, shit on, and blamed for other people's mistakes daily. After hearing all of this, my friends and family often say, "So why are you still there?!?!?!"

Monetary compensation, my friends. They pay me well to get shit on everyday, and I'm part of a decent bonus program. Which makes me better than you. Shine my shoes, bitch!