Where there's no smoke, there's no fire.

First of all, I would like to say that I can't believe Paris Hilton has a song on the radio. Is this what radio has come to? Has anyone else heard this song yet? It's called "Stars Are Blind". Look, if stars are blind, music executives are deaf because that song flat out sucks. I have more talent in my left pinky then she does in her whole body, and that's not saying much, cause my left pinky doesn't do very much singing.

I heard this song as I was headed to work tonight. Now, I usually never work on Saturdays, but I decided to go in for a few hours in the evening to help out because it was very busy. And that is the LAST time I ever do that.

I got to work around 4:30, and I hadn't even clocked in yet when I was greeted with disaster. I walked into the lobby of the hotel, and there's a guy screaming at the top of lungs "There's a fire in my room!" I should have just turned around right there and got back in my car and drove home, but the "responsible" part of me decided to stay and assess the situation.

I walked over to the gentleman and said, "Sir, what exactly is on fire in your room?" He thought for a minute, and then said, "The TV." I wondered what why it took him so long to think about that, and then I asked him, "Are there actual flames and smoke?" He thought for another minute, and said, "No, but it's on fire."

What? What kind of sense does THAT make?

So I said, "Ok, sir, did you call the fire department?" He says, "No, I didn't." Now, I don't know how other people in this world do things, but here's what I DO know. If there is a fire in my room, I'm gonna call the fire department. I'm going to attempt to rectify the situation. I'm not gonna stand around and scream about it for an hour and pray for some rain.

I went up to the room, and whattya know? There's no fire. Yes, it smelled a little funny because the TV had short circuited, but there were no exciting flames and no billowing smoke. I went back downstairs and there's the guy, still standing in the lobby. He starts shouting at me. "I can't believe you're not going to do anything about this!" I said, "Sir, I switched you to another room, everything is under control." He says, "You need to call the fire department!" I calmly tried to explain to him that there was no fire, that there never was a fire, that there will never be a fire. This displeases him, and he shouts, "I'm gonna pull the fire alarm!" Now, THAT pisses me off, cause now we're talking about the sprinklers going off, and I don't play that game. I looked him in the eye and said, "If you pull that alarm, there's gonna be trouble. The police will come and you're gonna get fined. I wouldn't suggest doing that." He thought about that for a minute, and then said, "Ok, but I'M going to call the fire department myself." I gave him the number and told him to have a blast.

It took FOREVER for the fire department to show up! But when they finally DID come, they weren't playing around. They must have brought every person in the East Whiteland FD with them. I took them up to the room, and the fireman turned to me and said, "There's no fire here." I just wanted to say, "Really? No shit!" But I didn't.

The firemen declared the area safe and everything was gravy. We went back downstairs and the guy was STILL sitting in the lobby. The head fire guy said, "Sir, are you the gentleman that called about the fire?" He said that he was, and the fire guy said, "Well, there's no fire, and everything is ok. We checked the area and the hotel is safe." The guy went back upstairs and I didn't hear a peep out of him for the rest of the night. Dumbass.

As the fire department was leaving, a family was attempting to check in. They had a little boy with them who couldn't have been older than 5. He ran right over to me and shouted, "I LOVE FIRETRUCKS!"

That made me feel a little better.

I hope everyone's weekend is going well!

Has the whole world gone crazy?

I find it very confusing how quickly people change. Of course, I'm a woman, so I'm entitled to change my mind every 3 seconds. But as I look at the people around me, I'm realizing that not everything is flowers and happiness. I'm not quite sure I know what caused this, but people are changing right before my very eyes and it's weird to see. Am I changing too? I don't know, but if I am, I know it's for the better. Which is more than I can say for some people. Also, didn't anyone ever hear the phrase, "If you don't have anything nice to say, shut your face?" Not everything is doom and gloom ya know, people.

Does anyone know the meaning of a "true friend"? I think it has something to do with trust and companionship and helping each other get through rough times. My true friends know who they are. And it's not because I tell them, it's because they just know. So take that, fake friends!

On a lighter note.....

I got my hair cut on Friday. Unless you're really looking at it, you can't really tell, cause I didn't have too much taken off. But anyway, the woman who usually cuts my hair tripped over her dog and broke her wrist. Ouchies! So another woman at the same salon said she would squeeze me in and cut it for me, which was very nice of her. Everything was going great! She was cutting my hair, I was just chilling. She styled it for me too, and she pumped it up in the back so it looked like it had more volume. She gave me some soft curls, and it looked great! So I'm looking in all the mirrors, admiring this lovely hairstyle this woman has created, and the woman is telling me, "ALL the stars are wearing their hair this way. It's all the rage and it's super trendy. Every celebrity woman is styling their hair like this....." and she hands me some celebrity filled magazine. She says, "See, look!" And sure enough, she shows me a picture of Britney Spears. And I don't mean Britney "You're toxic, I'm slipping under, I can't get no satisfaction" Spears. I mean Britney "I almost dropped my baby and my husband parties all night and I'm a big fat cow and my boobs are hanging outta my shirt" Spears. The look on my face must have been priceless. She's showing me a picture of Britney Spears and telling me that I now resemble her. (Even if it IS only because of my hairstyle, I don't care.) I was somewhat mortified, but at that point, what could I do? I mean, come on, all the FABULOUS people look like white trash, right?

In the end, I guess it didn't really matter, because the next day when I washed my hair all the "styling" was gone anyway. Looks like I'll have to find a new way to look trashy all by myself, without the help of a hairdresser. I really did like the hairstyle too, which is the bitch about the whole situation.

Hope everyone has an awesome week, filled with rainbows and sunshine.

Atlantic City Allstars!

Just got back from Atlantic City, and I'm freakin exhausted!

The HIE crew and I took the train down to good old A.C., and I had an awesome time. It would be too much to comment on ALL of the events of the trip, but I will recap some highlights.

I almost killed quite a few people with my burdensome purple suitcase. Tripping people, running people over, and otherwise crushing them with the weight of the suitcase... you would think I was going away for months the way I packed.

I lost my money playing Roulette. You'd think that I would hate the game that I squandered all of my money on, but it's my new favorite game! Red, black..... it was all very exciting! I never knew money could fly out of your wallet so quickly.

I didn't tip the drink girl cause I ran out of money at the Roulette table. Sorry, drink girl.

James and I almost died on the "Escalator of Death" in the House of Blues section. Seriously, that thing is gonna send someone flying headfirst onto the casino floor sometime real soon.

No one told me that there was going to be a random dance party at 3 a.m. in my hotel room.
James and I were almost in dreamland when David Scott decided he wanted to have a party, and we were the guests of honor. At first I couldn't even see what was happening, but then I put my glasses on and witnessed David dropping it like it's hot. It was like nothing I've ever seen, honestly. One minute he was completely quiet, and I was almost asleep, and the next minute David is whipping his shirt around, playing air guitar, and partying like it's 1999. I've never seen anyone rock out to B.O.B by Outkast like I did at that point in time. This continued for about 45 minutes, until James threatened to throw him out of our 15th story window. He quieted down and decided to go lose more money at the Monopoly slots.

The next morning was full of Starbucks goodness, and a lot of whining because no one got any sleep the night before due to the 3 a.m. dance party extravaganza. We walked a gazillion miles to the outlet shops, walked a gazillion miles back to the hotel, then took the "scenic" route back to the train station. We pissed off our "Jitney" driver, got safely on the train, and no one died from being impaled by my purple suitcase. I would say the trip was a success! I had a wonderful time and I can't wait to do it again very soon.

Whattaya say guys.... roulette, anyone?

06-06-06

Well here it is, it's officially 06-06-06. Is it the devil's day? Is it the day the world falls apart? Is it the day they let all the psychos out of the mental institution?

Nope. It's my birthday! Happy birthday to me!

P.S. If those things DO happen, it wasn't my fault. I swear.