Where there's no smoke, there's no fire.

First of all, I would like to say that I can't believe Paris Hilton has a song on the radio. Is this what radio has come to? Has anyone else heard this song yet? It's called "Stars Are Blind". Look, if stars are blind, music executives are deaf because that song flat out sucks. I have more talent in my left pinky then she does in her whole body, and that's not saying much, cause my left pinky doesn't do very much singing.

I heard this song as I was headed to work tonight. Now, I usually never work on Saturdays, but I decided to go in for a few hours in the evening to help out because it was very busy. And that is the LAST time I ever do that.

I got to work around 4:30, and I hadn't even clocked in yet when I was greeted with disaster. I walked into the lobby of the hotel, and there's a guy screaming at the top of lungs "There's a fire in my room!" I should have just turned around right there and got back in my car and drove home, but the "responsible" part of me decided to stay and assess the situation.

I walked over to the gentleman and said, "Sir, what exactly is on fire in your room?" He thought for a minute, and then said, "The TV." I wondered what why it took him so long to think about that, and then I asked him, "Are there actual flames and smoke?" He thought for another minute, and said, "No, but it's on fire."

What? What kind of sense does THAT make?

So I said, "Ok, sir, did you call the fire department?" He says, "No, I didn't." Now, I don't know how other people in this world do things, but here's what I DO know. If there is a fire in my room, I'm gonna call the fire department. I'm going to attempt to rectify the situation. I'm not gonna stand around and scream about it for an hour and pray for some rain.

I went up to the room, and whattya know? There's no fire. Yes, it smelled a little funny because the TV had short circuited, but there were no exciting flames and no billowing smoke. I went back downstairs and there's the guy, still standing in the lobby. He starts shouting at me. "I can't believe you're not going to do anything about this!" I said, "Sir, I switched you to another room, everything is under control." He says, "You need to call the fire department!" I calmly tried to explain to him that there was no fire, that there never was a fire, that there will never be a fire. This displeases him, and he shouts, "I'm gonna pull the fire alarm!" Now, THAT pisses me off, cause now we're talking about the sprinklers going off, and I don't play that game. I looked him in the eye and said, "If you pull that alarm, there's gonna be trouble. The police will come and you're gonna get fined. I wouldn't suggest doing that." He thought about that for a minute, and then said, "Ok, but I'M going to call the fire department myself." I gave him the number and told him to have a blast.

It took FOREVER for the fire department to show up! But when they finally DID come, they weren't playing around. They must have brought every person in the East Whiteland FD with them. I took them up to the room, and the fireman turned to me and said, "There's no fire here." I just wanted to say, "Really? No shit!" But I didn't.

The firemen declared the area safe and everything was gravy. We went back downstairs and the guy was STILL sitting in the lobby. The head fire guy said, "Sir, are you the gentleman that called about the fire?" He said that he was, and the fire guy said, "Well, there's no fire, and everything is ok. We checked the area and the hotel is safe." The guy went back upstairs and I didn't hear a peep out of him for the rest of the night. Dumbass.

As the fire department was leaving, a family was attempting to check in. They had a little boy with them who couldn't have been older than 5. He ran right over to me and shouted, "I LOVE FIRETRUCKS!"

That made me feel a little better.

I hope everyone's weekend is going well!