Welcome to Corporate America!

I started my new job on Monday. Things have been a little hectic, so I apologize to those I haven't had a chance to call.

I have never had the opportunity to really work in a "corporate" setting before, so let me tell you, this is a new experience for me. In my company, people go in and out of their offices, all day, and I really have no idea what they do. They have top secret meetings and business lunches with "important" clients.... but what are they really DOING in there? Are they trading top secret information about new inventions? Or are they just pretending to be larger than life so people think they are important? Whatever the case is, they all wear expensive business suits, and they are ALWAYS in a hurry.

I don't know that this is the type of life I was made for, but I do a damn good job of acting like an all around business woman while I'm there. For instance, take Jeff, the guy who trained me. Nice blank pants, long sleeve button down shirt, spoke to clients in a professional manner. He seemed like perfect "corporate guy" material. But when I actually had the opportunity to talk to him, I realized this was pretty much completely untrue. I mean, he could turn it on when necessary, but outside of work, all he wanted to do was skateboard and listen to punk rock. His entire body was filled with tattoos, from head to toe. He liked conspiracy theories and he disliked the government. While he was at work though, you'd never guess he was just playing a role.

Perhaps this is what we all do... do we all pretend to be something we're not from time to time? Or is it that we haven't "grown up" yet? If running around like a crazy woman getting all stressed out over little things, wondering if my next client will be on time for our meeting is "growing up", count me out. I'll stay 24 forever.

I think it's just a charade. In which case, I'm glad I took all those acting classes. Sure, I'll go to work and pretend to care, I'll pretend to be the prim and proper business woman in the black pants and button down shirts. I'll stay "in character" for the duration of my work day. But once I get in the car to drive home, I'm rolling down the windows, letting the wind blow through my hair, and popping in some Insane Clown Posse for my listening pleasure.

It was inevitable that I would have to hang up my UFO pants and put away my orange hair dye if I wanted to get a "real" job. But remember, they are still in my closet somewhere.......

Wish me luck on my second week!