It's a train wreck, bitch.

Oh my. Britney Spears. How do I love thee.... let me count the ways.

Your lip synching is amazing, as is your stellar choreography. Did you choreograph that yourself? I bet you did, you little vixen. I especially enjoyed that sexy outfit that emphasized the beauty of your baby fat. I just can't keep my eyes off of you, Britney. Keep doing that sweet thang you do.

Anyway........In case you can't tell, I watched the Video Music Awards last night. I don't want to talk to much about THAT, but I do want to talk about the thrilling programing that MTV has lined up for this fall.

1. Pageant Place. A bunch of beauty queens living in a house together, fighting over lip gloss. Drama ensues.

2. Kaya. A young rocker starlet doesn't know how to cope with her new found fame. Drugs, alcohol, and promiscuous sex? Christ, I hope so.

3. A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. 16 lesbians con 16 horny straight guys into falling in love with them. All this while Miss Tequila attempts to find a boyfriend. I'm wondering why Tila Tequila needs to go on a reality show to find a man.... I need more info. Also, Miss Tequila reveals her huge "secret" to the world... she's bisexual. Is this really a secret? Because I've known this for quite some time now.

Since I dont have enough time in my day to watch all of this fabulous programming, and I can only allocate one new show into my schedule right now, I've picked the one about Tila Tequila. Surprised? Didn't think so. I mean, they all sound good... seriously, these three shows are going to blow My Super Sweet 16 right out of the water.