My letter to July.

Dear July,

I understand you will be coming to visit me soon. I have mixed feelings about this, because your friend June is currently here, and let me tell you, she has NOT been pleasant. I might even go so far as to say she is quite possibly the worst house guest I've ever had. A lot of crappy things have occured since June got here, including, but not limited to:

-I got a temperature of one million and three degrees.
-I had to run 20 miles per hour to catch a train that was about to leave me behind. Twice.
-I had the pleasure of having my job suck all the joy from my life.
-I went crazy.
-I had to be away from family and friends on my birthday.
-I destroyed my bedroom in a fit of rage.
-I had to help a stupid bitch plan her April 26, 2008 wedding.
-The migraine from Hell infiltrated my life, and hasn't left yet....
-My mom accidentally sprayed me with mase.

July, these are just a FEW of the shitty things that have happened to me since June's arrival. And she's still here! Oh man, I cannot WAIT for her to leave.

I'm hoping we can have a better time than June and I did. You will be here for approximately 31 days, and I'm trying to plan some really great activities for us to do together. So please hurry, because if I have to look at June for another day I will stab myself in the eye.
Your friend,
g.
P.S. Don't forget to bring your bathing suit!