This shift is bananas! (b-a-n-a-n-a-s).

I have never been an "early morning" riser.

Waking up anytime before 11 am is NOT my idea of a good time, so when I willingly switched some of my days to morning shift (7 am), I knew it would be a difficult transition. I just wasn't aware of HOW difficult it would be.

First of all, I can no longer wear "comfy" pajamas to bed on days I have to be up early, because comfy pajamas make me want to sleep all damn day. I cannot take advantage of the snooze button, I actually broke it from using it too much. My breakfast now consists of my head resting in the bowl of cereal. My showers now have to be super-quick to ensure I dont fall asleep standing up. My clothes MUST be laid out the night before, because God knows I can't find ANYTHING to wear at 5:30 in the morning.

After my morning routine, I walk outside to my car, and for some reason, it's still dark out! What happened to my shining sun and chirping birds? I guess they're not awake yet, either.

When I finally get on the road, I pull out of my driveway and traffic is at a dead stop. It takes me 45 minutes to get to work, NOT the 20 minutes I am used to. Where the hell is everyone going? Why can't they all just go back to bed?

When I eventually get to work, I realize that I look like trash and have bags under my eyes, and I can't complete a coherent sentence. I make grunting sounds and yawn a lot. I get strange looks and no one wants to talk to me. I think "miserable" would be a good term to use for this situation.

I'll work for about 2 hours and I'm fine. My work is getting done, and I'm "civil" to people. But something happens to me during my 3rd hour; I feel sleepy again, and I basically inject caffeine into my bloodstream to keep me awake. This cycle will continue throughout my entire shift, until eventually it's quittin time. I leave work, drive home, and jump in bed for naptime until around 9 or 10 pm, when I inevitably wake up and want to have a party. I'll jump online, write myspace blogs (like this one), and then twiddle my thumbs until I force myself to go BACK to sleep at 1 or 2 am. I get a few hours of sleep before I wake up and do it all again the next day.

So when you come to my work at 7 am, all smiley and excited to be alive, don't be surprised when I punch you in the face.